


Pride and Paperwork

by effystonem, powerwisdomandcourage



Category: Monsters Inc (2001), Monsters University (2013), Toy Story (Movies)
Genre: Adventure, Bisexuality, Crossover, F/F, F/M, Homosexuality, Interspecies Romance, M/M, Paperwork, Romance, Size ray, genderfluidity
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-08
Updated: 2016-01-08
Packaged: 2018-05-12 14:29:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,389
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5669386
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/effystonem/pseuds/effystonem, https://archiveofourown.org/users/powerwisdomandcourage/pseuds/powerwisdomandcourage
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Roz was unlucky in love, and it was making Monstropolis feel like a binding, inescapable cage of tedium and wasted potential. Woody longed for a romantic connection, a long-term commitment that he could treasure and someone to grow old with.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Woody

**Author's Note:**

> In later chapters, the rating may change.

Woody Toy had thought he was gay until he met Mrs. Nesbitt. Seeing his best friend in drag had turned the world on its head. Ever since he had first met Buzz, he felt a stirring in his loins whenever he interacted with the spaceman. He had always been attracted to Buzz’s masculine jaw, buff chest, large face, and shining head, but when he saw Buzz dressed as a woman, he realized that he could also feel a strong attraction to the feminine form. He began to fantasize about both men and women, sometimes at the same time, and sometimes the fantasies took place in the great vacuum of space. But his attraction went beyond the sexual; he longed for a romantic connection, a long-term commitment that he could treasure and someone to grow old with. He had never felt this way for Buzz. His feelings for Buzz were purely sexual. But he was ready for his prince or princess charming. 

Now, Buzz stepped out of the toy box in his full Mrs. Nesbitt getup (which comprised of a hat and a pink apron). Buzz had begun to embrace his gender fluidity more openly now, and wasn’t afraid to express his inner self in front of the other toys, despite his continued use of male pronouns. The toys had received Buzz with open arms. Woody was proud of his best friend, and attracted to him. However, Buzz was attracted solely to women. 

“Greetings, loved toys,” Buzz boomed jovially.

“Greetings, pardner!” Woody drawled. 

Andy had just left for school, which was why they were like, alive now. They finally felt comfortable enough to embrace their inner aliveness. It was sometimes difficult for the toys to stay lifeless while Andy was around, so when they had time to themselves, they tended to do reckless things and live it up, always with one eye on the white-as-snow door. Sexual escapades, drugs, drag racing, and armed robbery were only the beginning--but Woody was growing tired of the high life. He longed to settle down with a nice cowboy or cowgirl. 

“So Woody, what are we going to do today?” Hamm asked. Woody was the unspoken leader of the toys, and they always turned to him for ideas.

Woody sighed. “We could re-enact  _ Road House… _ ”

“Again?” Rex sighed, shaking his head. Even the dinosaur could tell that Woody was running low on fun ideas.

“We could go snorkelling in fish tanks? Or roast weenies?” Woody suggested hopelessly.

Mr. Potato Head shook his head sadly. “You’re washed up, Woody! What’s happening to you?”

Woody closed his eyes. He knew that now was the perfect time to admit to his depression and his deep longing for something more, to confess to his bisexuality, and to finally open up to his friends, but when he opened his mouth, no words came out. He couldn’t disappoint them this way. 

“Nothing,” Woody lied. “I’m just hungry.” He hoped the other toys wouldn’t notice that toys don’t actually eat. 

The truth was, Woody longed for love, for passion, and for adventure--little did he know, when one door of presumed homosexuality closes, the door to a whole new world opens. 


	2. Roz

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Roz looked at him dispassionately. “Get this filth out of my sight,” she instructed.

Roz Washington gently pushed open the door in front of her. As expected, she could see straight through to the other side. There was nothing behind the door.

“I see…” Roz was saying to the underling that had reported the null door.

“It’s brand new,” the employee said, gesturing to the stark, white-as-snow door with an exasperated claw.

Roz nodded. “I’ll file the paperwork to have it fixed. The team should receive the paperwork by this afternoon,” she said in her usual monotone voice. This was what her days were now: endless filing of paperwork, each day a dull grey spot on a lifetime of goldenrod paperwork at Monsters, Incorporated.

“Thank you so much sir,” the employee said.

Roz felt tears well in her eyes. She was so tired of being called a man, so tired of being ignored and belittled by the ill-mannered men in her life. She needed a strong, adventurous man to get her out of this rut. Roz was unlucky in love, and it was making Monstropolis feel like a binding, inescapable cage of tedium and wasted potential. Despite her chief position at the CDA and her successful career, she felt she had so much more to offer: love. And above all, she longed for a few little monsters of her own.

* * *

By mid afternoon, Roz was on her lunch break, feasting on takeout sushi from Harry Hausen, and monster fruit loops. Her pager beeped. It was a 32-41, the universal code for a fixed door. She closed her styrofoam box of sushi, shoved the entire thing into her mouth, and headed down to the repair floor, chewing rapidly. She always had to confirm when a door had been fixed and sign off on it, which was annoying but necessary.

On the repair floor, the white-as-snow door sat shining, looking brand new. She felt… almost happy but not quite. She switched the control panel on and looked for the red light. Fortunately, it lit up. She switched it off and began to fill out the paperwork.

“Okay boys,” she said. “You can send that one down to the scare floor.”

Roz headed back to her office and checked out her to do list. All she had to do before she could head home was get paperwork from some of the scarers and their scare assistants. She growled at the list. _Mike Wazowski._ He _always_ forgot to file his paperwork. It had been three weeks since he was supposed to have his paperwork in. She was annoyed, but she thought she would have to go down to the scare floor and harass Mike for the paperwork. Anyway, she needed the exercise. She had put on a few extra pounds from crying while on her period and worrying about boy troubles. She looked between the elevator and the stairs. _I’ll be good today,_ she thought, thinking of the calorie-filled styrofoam box she had just wolfed down. She turned towards the stairs and glided down them elegantly.

As she walked down the stairs, she heard the faint echo of voices wafting from the locker room. She approached it cautiously and stood poised outside the door, ears perked up.

“Yeah, it was delicious, man!” That was the voice of George Sanderson. She frowned and moved closer.

“I can’t believe you ate human candy,” another monster replied. “What was it like?”

“It was a gummy candy, and it was shaped like a tiny caveman, an ancient human! I feel so strong and healthy now, for some reason.”

 _Aha,_ Roz thought. _Caught in the act!_ George had another 45-78! She paged the CDA urgently and waited in the hallway until the agents showed up. They went in the locker room and dragged George out, who was spluttering and trying to explain himself. The CDA agents threw him in front of Roz, at her mercy.

“Disciplinary action is necessary, ma’am,” the agent said. “You tell us what to do with him.”

Roz regarded George coldly. This was one too many offences on Sanderson’s part.

“Banishment,” Roz spat. She pointed at him with a spindly finger that ended in a gnarled fingernail. “I am fed up with you! Banish him to a part of the human world that does _not_ have gummy candy!”

George sobbed. “No, Mrs. Roz, _please!_ I have a family! I have to feed my five children and my husband! I’ll do anything, just demote me, but please don’t banish me,” he begged, tears streaming down his orange cheeks and dripping on the floor. He dropped to his knees, staring up at Roz with pleading eyes and wringing his hands.

Roz looked at him dispassionately. “Get this filth out of my sight,” she instructed.

The CDA agent walked away, dragging George along the floor as he screamed and cried.

Roz smiled. She loved banishing people who had broken the rules. It restored justice in the world. Feeling vindicated, she continued on her way downstairs, whistling cheerfully.

* * *

Down on the scare floor, James P. Sullivan and Mike Wazowski stood outside a white-as-snow door, ready to go in.

“Hey,” Sully said, “maybe we’ll find a present we can bring back for Boo!”


End file.
